Anger Explosion - losing it!

"The Devil" Pen Drawing by Andrea George

"She Devil Vampire" Acrylics on canvas by Andrea George

Wow! What a day so far! I know I wanted to get back to the original intention of this project, to create a photograph each day showing the depths of me at any given moment but sheesh, I never imagined the gamut of emotions that would come rolling over me in such a short space of time. I have been working through my issues with this and emotions are a big part of that and by enlarge they have been reasonably okay to deal with. Today however, everything was powerfully strong, immense need to cry. I was incredibly unsettled not sure what was happening when I woke up - totally overwhelmed by wanting to pace, immense nervous energy, need to breath deeply and feelings running rampant like electricity through my body. Then, I did cry and cry out loud, I was at wailing cry point, it just released in a huge flooded wave. Moments later, it all came crashing down in a rage of torrid anger. I was air boxing like a possessed woman, my music was blasting out and then I broke, I screamed and turned to my notebook. I wanted to write a poem but couldn't, it was then I snatched my sketch book and manically produced the dark featured pen drawing of "The Devil." He was the Machiavellian persona staring back at me created through such strong anger, anger which had now subsided, once I had finished drawing him.

So, welcome to "The Devil." After going through the gamut of emotions this morning, along with a panic attack and extreme anger, this drawing came forth in a mad explosion. He's not part of the characters I have been trying to produce. This was a crazed, manic drawing after I became extremely angered. So as we have been going through a mercury retrograde, it's poignant that he should arise. Also the fact that I have felt and in many ways still feel quite restricted and constrained by my current situation. I recognise, I have the power to change this and take action in order to shift this feeling of restriction. Yes, I do see myself as bound by my current conditions and I am slowly finding ways and the strength to break those shackles that I put upon myself. this perfectly demonstrates that if you allow to remain connected to the depths of you, you will see and hear your truth. A powerful lesson in connection to the depths of self and allowing the flow of emotions to run through you.

Underneath him is his female bedfellow "She Devil Vampire" also another exercise I did dealing with anger. It was again cathartically painted after I did a series of photographic self portraits, quite literally screaming at the camera. I then created the "She devil Vampire" based on one of those self portraits, as yet she remains unfinished but I kinda like that. It's like as soon as I got her out onto canvas the anger dissipated, very much like "The Devil" above.

Pen drawing and Photograph by Andrea George, taken using a Nikon Coolpix P520