I decided for my first day to actually paint me, use my face as a canvas, exposing the cracked, damaged me. I feel like I am dead but breathing at the moment, drying up because I feel restricted in creating, something which keeps me happy. I am struggling to let the sunshine and feel quite broken. Over most things at the moment, totally losing faith, tearful frequently, agitated, wrought, fucked off, looking for a ray of sunshine and just finding plain yellow. This is me stripped back barely full of colour.
Lyrics from a particular song I listen to resonate with me at the moment just a few lines only as the whole song doesn't apply to what I feel or think:
"So you try to work it out and get some help,
But I know what's going on,
I feel like I am dead but breathing,
I know cos my heart is beating"
Lyrics by Lesley Roy from "I'm Dead but Breathing"
The large picture shows me so broken, so damaged, cracked, in the depths of despair, heavy, breaking down.
The smaller pictures show the range of motions I am feeling, anger, bewilderment, numbness, blank, empty, free falling into the abyss, broken, lifeless, pained, damaged.
It's also my interpretation of the Mexican sugar skull often seen on the day of the dead or Dia de los Muertos
Self portraits taken with my Nikon Coolpix P520. Photographs by Andrea George, Art work on face also by me
Note to self: painting yourself is fun to do, washing it off is another thing lol
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